Seduction
by GladiatorGoddess
Summary: Adrian Little Nicky , is freed from the flask only to find that he is engaged to Eden, an enchanting angel, in Satan's attempt at peace with Heaven. Under the threat of eternity in the flask, Adrian has a serious decision to make.
1. Surprise

Disclaimer: I don't own Little Nicky. Unfortunately :(

Meaning no disrespect to anyone who is particularly religious. I am in fact Catholic, but I did find this movie very amusing and plan to stick to the facts of the storyline.

If you have a problem with my facts or any statements, grammatical errors, etc, please send me notice through review :)

But please also be polite, I don't like flamers.

The first chapter is going to be rather short, but I promise I'll try to make them longer as I go along. I plan to top a few thousand, maybe 6-7k per chapter in the future. Working into details as I go along, please REVIEW and tell me how I'm doing and what you'd like changed.

* * *

The divine wars were not entirely hidden to man, nor were they entirely revealed. Many on Earth were aware of the eternal and deadly battle that raged in the heavens above and in the bowels of the earth below. Religions were formed from the empowered, the wicked, the bloody carcasses of those who fought to control the fates of the human worms whose souls were a delicacy to be found no where else among the universes.

Of course, the pitiful humans, though weak, could not be controlled. The battles were individual, internal, a fight between temptation and conscience; but what battles they were. Angels and demons constantly tore at each other over the sweet, delectable soul struggling, trapped between them. They were an addiction like no other.

The angels saw the souls as objects to be cherished, to be polished and petted and eventually befriended, make higher than the highest of kings, the archest of angels. The demons saw souls as food, as the bittersweet blood coursing through their wickedly filthy veins. They saw them as things to be tortured, worn thin, wrung of every piece of dignity and humanity they might cling to after death. Only the most corrupt, the most rotted souls are given to them, though they long for the sweet, innocent souls so cherished by the angels.

The angels protect and guard the purest of soul, keeping them just out of the clawed reach from those corrupted demons who long to devour the innocence and purity of a perfect white soul. The dirtied slip from the grasps of these daring angels, and the farther they fall to sin the more difficult it is to climb back up to where they can be defended. It is, as has been stated, an eternal struggle.

Of course, as far as peace goes between these warring forces, the humans are completely unaware. They have never known, nor even heard of, the Adam Treaty of 10,000,027 BC, nor the Defeat of Ultimate Human Sin in 39 AD. This incredible victory placed angels in the lead, and won millions of human souls to the heavens. It was a time of famine for demons, which still carries on to this day. So many mortals had turned from sin that only the weakest, only the most dirtied would fall to the jaws of the demons.

As a result, what was left of the demonic army suffered. With much fewer souls to satisfy their hunger and the brave angel guardians slaughtering them like flies, a sort of peace was now needed to return the balance and leave the will and decisions to the humans.

* * *

It was an unpleasant decision for most of those involved, but would definitely benefit the masses of both Heaven and Hell. Satan, father of Adrian, Cassius, and Nicky, had to do something he never would have thought acceptable, or even possible.

The gatekeeper, 'Tit-head' as he was now called due to an...ah...unfortunate accident a few years back, brought him a beautiful silver flask, glinting wickedly despite its long trek through the sewers and sealed with a leering skull cap. It had been three years since last it had opened, and now he would draw it forth to open it again. Nodding to the gatekeeper, Satan braced himself. The demons crowded in the throne room watched in hushed anticipation, prepared for the epic battle which might take place. The flask had never been re-opened before, but they needn't have worried.

Unsealing the flask, the gatekeeper tipped the container a bit, holding it at arms length, hand trembling with fear. What fell from the flask was hardly recognizable as the eldest son of the devil.

Thin, haggard, and reeking, Adrian fell hard to the floor, barely able to push himself from the rocky, blood-stained ground. He remained there, on his hands and knees, breathing with difficulty and coughing up an unidentifiable black bile that steamed and burned like acid. One almost felt pity for the hunched figure, but after a few minutes he raised his furious devil eyes to his father.

Even Satan couldn't help flinching under the intense gaze of his eldest.

"Three years. It's been _three damned years_, three years locked in there with fucking Cassius, barely able to breathe, barely able to move, no sign of possible release; three years I've dreamed of this moment, planned for this moment. I imagined the many ways I'd torture you for this, kill you, use your skull to adorn the throne," panted Adrian, his grey eyes still flaming. But, as he struggled to rise, he fell again, and this time he didn't try to get up. "and here I am, too _weak _to even look at you." He spat the word with disgust, as if it was poison.

"Adrian, son, don't worry, you will regain your former strength after some rest, and some time of course. After that, we will need to talk about your future," said Satan softly, still loving his son dearly even though he had been a traitor, had tried to kill his father, and had been banished for three years. "but I wouldn't suggest trying to overpower me; you know for a fact you can't do it alone, even when you're at your strongest, especially not without Cassius at your side. Unfortunately for him, he was born second and is not going to be given the incredible chance I'm giving you."

Not strong enough to questioning his father's intent, Adrian allowed the demons to gingerly help him to his feet and to his room, where he could bathe and find the rest he so desperately needed. Always having hated sleeping dirty, he first headed to the spacious bathroom. Spurning the efforts of the female demons he had once so enjoyed, he cast them from his quarters and bathed alone, his pride more or less intact. He carefully checked his body for damages, stretched and massaged his aching, cramped limbs, and washed the grime of three years from his skin. Then, heaving himself from the tub and already feeling stronger, he dried himself with a thick red towel and staggered to his king-sized bed, bundling himself in a sea of red and black sheets and blankets.

He quickly fell asleep, soft but fierce snarls echoing through his room and disturbing those who wandered the halls. Satan sighed upon hearing his son's vicious snores, rubbing his temples and hoping that Adrian would take the news well. His oldest son had never been the understanding type.

* * *

"Are you sure everything is going to be okay?"

Two angels were seated comfortably on soft white chairs, some tea and cakes set on a plate on the white table between them. Blue skies could be seen through the airy windows, and soft white cloud-carpet covered the floors. It was a beautiful day, as always, in Heaven.

"Eden, for the last time, you're going to be _fine. _I swear! I bet it's going to turn out great! I bet you'll have lots of kids and some pets, like a kitten or a chinchilla, and get a lovely house near the woods where you can grow a vegetable garden and teach your kids to ride ponies and reindeer!" exclaimed a young, blonde woman to her friend. Her friend, also known as Eden, had thick, dark hair and pale skin, with luminous, worried hazel eyes.

"I just don't know, Clarity. It sounds awfully dangerous to me," Eden murmured, wringing her hands together. "I really don't think he'll be the lovely-house-kittens-gardens-ponies type of guy. He'll probably be more of the torture-metal-fire-sin-evil kind of guy, if you've heard the terrible stories." Her friend laughed musically and waved her hand.

"Oh, Eden, you'll believe anything. Besides, look at his brother! You know, Holly's kid, Nicky? He's _so _sweet, I met him last spring, most adorable, innocent, gentle guy I've ever met!" sighed Clarity, eyes misty. Eden laughed.

"But Holly's his mom, of _course _he's sweet and gentle! His brothers are...well...not. Their dad is Satan and their moms are fire dragons I've heard, and you _know _that that's definitely not a good combination. Rachel from Eastern Heaven says she talked to Holly, who says Nicky's brothers are really cruel and simply horrible to Nicky, that's why they've been locked up for three years!" cried Eden, her breath catching. Clarity reached out and caught Eden's hand comfortingly.

"Look, Eden, even if he _is _like that, you know he'd be under direct orders to cooperate with you, and by his own choice he'll stay with you. Well, either stay with you or get locked up again. Look, he can't hurt you under penalty of law both in Heaven and in Hell, and if you're lucky you might even be able to turn him to the good side, to our side! You never know! Wouldn't it be fantastic to give him another chance at life, to show him the pure, lovely joys of Heaven? I'm sure he'd grow to love God and even totally love you!" insisted Clarity, and then her eyes sparkled mischievously. "Anyways, if he's being naughty, you could always just put him in his place. You _are _on the high council for a reason, you know." Eden burst into laughter, astonished at her friend's audacity.

"I could never do that, you know that! I promised to never use my powers to hurt another being," reprimanded Eden, still chuckling. "I can only hope that I won't have to use them."

The two lovely angels sat in silence for a while, taking bites of soft, sweet cake and stirring the gently steaming cups of tea. They were both deep in thought, though in two entirely separate worlds.

"Do you really think he might love me?" murmured Eden shyly, a slight blush rising to her pale cheeks.

"Do you think he has a hot body?" sighed Clarity, a crooked smile gracing her lips. Eden immediately flushed red and wouldn't speak to Clarity for a whole ten minutes.

* * *

When Adrian woke, it was to the usual, once familiar alarm of the screaming of billions of humans, the heavy grinding of torture devices, and the whir of wings from the wide range of disgusting beasts that dominated the red, hot skies of Hell. But, the sounds usually heard from within the castle were gone, and the low temperature suggested it was night; time for everyone to rest.

Adrian climbed from his bed, feeling much improved, and approached the tall dresser in the corner of his room. No matter the occasion, he always liked to look his best. Changing from the silken nightclothes to his tight black shirt and jeans, he then pulled on one of his favorite long coats (ignoring the heavy, loud boots) and padded to his door. Listening carefully, he determined that no one was outside, and opened his door with utmost caution, careful to avoid any squeaking. He snuck down the long passages and through a few doors, also careful to avoid any guards that might have been patrolling the corridors.

He made his way steadily to his father's quarters and he tiptoed inside, shutting the door silently behind him. Fully aware that he would not be able to get into where his father rested, he strolled through the front room, taking note on what had changed and what had stayed the same. The dark sofas and the ashen fireplace were the same, but there were a few new pictures upon the wall (of Nicky and his small family, Adrian noted with disgust), and a new coffee table replaced the old decrepit one. He quickly noticed a tall pile of papers stacked on his father's desk, all of which were letters and important-looking documents.

He walked over to the desk, leafing through a few envelopes and catching a few addresses. Most seemed to be official documents, and a lot were addressed to Heaven. Brow furrowed, he was ruffling through some other papers when an envelope fell, revealing a personal letter and a small picture. Adrian froze when he looked down, and bent to pick up the picture and the paper.

He scanned through the letter.

_'Dear Satan,_

_While I agree that your decision is what is best for everyone and will most certainly have a positive effect on all heavenly and hellish persons, I must politely request that the situation will be kept under control and that the circumstances and consequences will be made clear to your son. I do not wish for my daughter to come to any harm, and though she is a member of the High Council, she is rather inexperienced, being newly elected, with dealing with even the slightest of demons. I mean no offense, and send this as a caring mother in concern to her eldest daughter. I am sure you will understand, being a father yourself. I am glad that my daughter will play such a role in history, and flattered when you personally selected her as best suited to take the job. Whether they decide to reside in Heaven or Hell, or even somewhere in between, I hope that I will be able to visit them often and that my daughter will be able to present me with lots of grandchildren! I am quite beyond myself with excitement for the wedding, and though Eden seems a bit reluctant, I know it is just nerves, the poor girl suffers from terrible nerves quite often and I am sure she will be over her doubts in time for the reception. I do wonder where they plan to honeymoon? If you have any idea of what your son might think, please send reply, for I plan on sending a few presents their way and would like to book a date beforehand. Please write back as soon as possible, as I am quite anxious to discuss gifts and dates. Eden's sisters are filled with excitement and are dying to know more about her young groom! He must come visit sometime soon, I do insist! That is, if he accepts your generous offer.  
_

_With Love,_

_ Hope Evergreen_

_PS. Do tell Adrian I said hello, and wish him the best of luck for his wedding!_

It took a good few minutes for Adrian to fully process the contents of the letter. He re-read it, and then re-re-read it. He read the letter so many times that he very nearly had it memorized to the punctuation. However, the true horror of the situation could not, and would not be missed, and Adrian opened his mouth very wide, possibly wider than he ever had before.

_**"DAAAAAAAD!"**_

* * *

"I had hoped you'd find out in a...ah...more suitable environment," muttered Satan, seating himself in a comfortable chair opposite Adrian's. His son's face was dangerously white, and the hands holding the letter were shaking dangerously.

"This? Is this why you let me out? _You're seriously marrying me off?_" snarled Adrian, his usually cool temper flaring. "What is this, the medieval ages? I don't really want to get married, dad! And to an angel, of all the disgusting beings you could have chosen?"

"Adrian, please be reasonable. This could be a fantastic opportunity for peace with Heaven, and you know the girl's really not that bad! I met her and her mother a while back, when we were discussing plans, she's actually quite sweet, maybe a little shy, but what do you expect?" added Satan, his hope sinking when Adrian very nearly gagged. He still clutched the letter and the picture in his hands, then glanced at the picture and promptly dropped it.

"She could be the sexiest woman that ever existed and I'd throw up puppies just hearing you talk about how sweet she is," said Adrian viciously, grinding the picture beneath the heel of his foot and quickly regretting not wearing his boots. He missed the tic cross his father's features.

"Look, son, you're going to have to make an important decision," he snapped, effectively gaining his son's attention. "Either you're going to marry this girl and be a _good _husband, or you're going back into the flask with Cassius." He sat back, having presented the offer to his son.

Adrian rested his elbows on his knees and leaned forward, head down and a contemplative expression in his cold eyes.

"..."

"Adrian."

"Son, you can't be serious."

"Father, she's an _angel. _A sun-loving sky-living hippie valley freak! Of _course _I'm serious!" exploded Adrian, stuck between two awful alternatives. If he was sent back into the flask with Cassius, he might have civil company, but he would most likely never be given the chance to escape again. If he married that angel bitch, he would have to deal with a sunny disposition, but might be able to free himself and rule Hell again. After all, he was the only alternative after his father retired.

"Adrian!"

"Alright! Alright, fine, I'll marry the angel, dad, are you happy?" With that, he gathered his cloak about him and stormed from the room. Satan sighed, leaning his chin onto his hand. He had the horrible feeling that this could not end well.

* * *

A young angel with rich, thick dark hair sat in a white chair at a white desk, inside of a sky-blue room with open windows and of course the traditional cloud-carpeting. Several pictures were upon the wall; two were of other young angels, one with light brown hair and the other with short, cropped dark hair similar to Eden's. One held a picture of two older angels, a woman with strawberry-blonde hair and a man with neatly parted black hair. All four angels in the pictures were smiling and spreading lovely white wings, halos tipped at an almost playful angle and white robes fluttering in a cool Heaven breeze.

"Eden, darling, you have a letter!"

Hope Evergreen, a youngish strawberry-blonde angel with a round face and full features, hung over her daughter's shoulder to try to catch a glimpse of the letter. All she could make out was the name (or, the title, as was used in Hell). _Adrian, First Son of Satan, _before the was pushed from the room by her furiously blushing daughter. Once her mother was ejected from her room, Eden curled catlike in her bed and just stared at the envelope for a few minutes, hardly able to bear opening it. She just held it, wondering of the hands that had held it before her. No, not her mother's; even before her. Were they slender and smooth, or large and calloused? Was he talented in his script, or would it look like a child had written it? Eden was a true angel; she imagined the best of everyone and sought to love anyone despite their shortcomings, which to her were more endearing than not.

With trembling fingertips, and after a few tries, she finally forced herself to tear the envelope open. But she didn't read right away, instead studying the script. It was of an elegant hand, and as she skimmed the letter she could determine that Adrian was well educated, to say the least, perhaps even ambitious in his intelligence. She couldn't quite decide whether this was good or bad. Once she had thoroughly contemplated the script, she finally settled back to read the letter.

_Eden _(no title or endearments, she noticed rather bitterly)

_I have recently come to the knowledge of our present arrangement and have accepted the offer with an open mind, if nothing else. I understand that your doubts and worries may be similar in nature to mine, and I assure you that we will speak of these uncertainties in the very near future, as my father has made plans to pay a visit in the upcoming week. I do hope that the good of the multitude will override any source of negativity, and I wish you the fortitude, of which I'm sure you've been asked, to endure the approaching month (which I believe is to be sometime in September)._

_Adrian_

Eden felt the hope deflating in her like a popped balloon, feeling much the same as a popped balloon might on the inside. She could even nearly taste the rubber in her mouth, feel her ribs caving into her hollow insides and eventually she'd flatten and lie still on her bed for the rest of forever.

He spoke of it like an important meeting; no, not even important, like a trivial thing which he was doing to please his co-workers, his boss, everyone but himself. The letter was restrained, and she had the impression that he had been required to present it to his father before sending it to her. She also felt that it had been edited many times until any possible meaning or misconception had been completely blotted out. There were no lovely word plays of which she could think about and sigh about until her wedding day; there weren't even any cruel insults of which she could fume over.

It was very much as if a robot had written it. A dying robot who tried to record feeling onto a sheet of paper when he himself had none. Eden could only feel a low depression; she felt no anger, no joy, no intense emotion with which she could associate to her husband-to-be.

There wasn't even a picture.

She wondered faintly if her younger sisters, Faith and Joy, were right in that he was a hideous beast with two heads and drooling fangs. If he had greasy grey hair popping from his skin, a hunchback, and lumpy feet and hands. He was, after all, the son of the devil (though she had heard he was fairly handsome, she had her doubts, as she herself had never seen him). Maybe Adrian had great ugly bat wings and two curly goat-horns sprouting from his forehead, and wicked tails that whipped and flayed while he spoke in gruesome tongues.

Shuddering, Eden hoped she could love him anyways, a quality of which many angels had been blessed with. She hoped he at least would be kind and gentle, despite his dispassionate words. It was the foolish hope of an angel, but she hoped nonetheless.

Speaking of Hope, Eden decided not to show her mother the letter, lest she throw her fury onto the poor boy when he arrived to visit next week.

* * *

About Eden's sisters,

they might seem a little catty, but angels always seemed like they might be a bit proud/catty (seeing as the Great Test was if the angels would worship Christ if he was human, and many said no and were sent to become the devils of Hell, led by Lucifer yes I have been going to Catholic schools since practically birth, don't judge me), and though Eden's sisters love her dearly they're bound to be little sisters, and a bit mischievous and little-sister-like (I also have a little sister).


	2. First Impressions

Disclaimer: I don't own Little Nicky, as much as I would like to.

* * *

Adrian straightened the dark collar of his long, form-fitting jacket, grimacing as he thought of the weekend (weekend!) he was spending with that monstrous girl Eden and her family. It was like...it was like...torture! He never thought that he, the eldest son of Satan for God's sake, would set foot in Heaven to have a little social gathering with the goody-goody angels intent on absorbing him into their twisted community.

He wasn't even sure why he was straightening his coat and teasing his hair into reasonable height. Adrian had always liked to look his best, no matter the company. If he didn't like them, it never hurt to intimidate them. And, at nearly six foot three inches (without boots), Adrian was quite an impressive figure.

Sighing, he glared at his reflection and reached for a pair of gloves. Apparently Heaven was rather cool and breezy, much like earth, so he'd like to be prepared. Heat he could take, but a breeze would be intolerable. Smoothing his shirt and stepping into his thick, slender boots, he headed to the throne room to wait for his father.

"Alright, Adrian, we're going through the portal to earth, and then we're heading to Nicky's house. From there Holly can pick us up, and she'll take us to the Evergreens' house," instructed Satan as they stepped through the fire. Rising from the train station in the dead of night, they made their way to where Nicky had settled, a little house downtown.

They walked quickly, looking a bit strange but not too out of the ordinary, as far as the people of New York went. Finally they managed to catch a cab, and before he knew it Adrian was seated in the back of a cab on earth on his way to visit his shovel-faced brother, and then his fiance. Satan muttered some address that Adrian cared very little for, and they were off.

It was a silent drive; Adrian was deep in thought, already planning his escape and his future. He, of course, would have to take the throne (there were simply no other alternatives) either by force or by being good and staying on his father's good side. Of course, that didn't mean that he couldn't plot while he was obeying his father. He would just have to be more careful. Adrian had hardly been the reckless type. Everything he had ever done had been very well planned, to the second. Nicky had quite caught Adrian by surprise when he had nearly captured Adrian in the flask the last time they were at the subway station, mostly because Adrian had always been the clever one, and coming up with a plan like that was most un-Nicky-like.

It only took a few minutes to reach Nicky's apartment. Satan produced the correct amount of cash for the driver and they were up the walkway sooner than Adrian would have liked. He found himself feeling rather awkward, shivering behind his father as Satan knocked.

The human female opened the door, holding a smallish boy of about two years.

"Oh dear god, you've spawned," spat Adrian before he could stop himself. The woman nearly shut the door, but Satan's quick smile and Nicky's enthusiastic cry left her hesitant, though still angry. Adrian could see that she wasn't quite over his evil reign of a few years back. She opened the door reluctantly, receiving a sneer from Adrian as he passed.

Dinner that night was more awkward than almost any other moment he had tolerated in his entire life.

"So, uh, Adrian, it's, uh...good to see you," tried Nicky, attempting to make light conversation. Adrian would have none of it, though, bitter as he was.

"Nice to see your face is looking less like the underside of a shovel," said Adrian coolly, not touching the food that the human woman had presented him with. Chicken and peas; how trivial. Nicky touched his face a little self-consciously, as Satan and Valarie glared at Adrian. But Nicky laughed.

"Yeah, Cassius would be disappointed. Valarie's got a good swing, I think they'd get along pretty well." Adrian laughed despite himself, but stopped quickly, clearing his throat and coughing a little.

"I believe he would. It's a pity he's locked in a flask for the rest of eternity." More awkward silence, but Adrian enjoyed this one. It was sort of nice being able to disturb Nicky in his own home. He knew his brother felt guilty, something Adrian had never experienced, and that mentioning Cassius' predicament would only serve to torment his younger brother.

"So, er, Valarie, how is young Zachariah doing?" broke in Satan, trying to change the subject. Valarie smiled tensely, hands fluttering and nervous.

"Oh, he's doing great, gets along with other kids well, we're thinking of getting a dog soon, I think he'd like that. Maybe a retriever or something," murmured Valarie, reaching out and grasping Nicky's hand. Adrian promptly and loudly gagged.

"Please tell me that not all marriages are like this," groaned Adrian, burying his face in his hands. Nicky looked curious.

"What are you talking about, Adrian? I've been out of the loop for a while, seeing as Mr. Beefy left to stay with Heather, and he's been my only source of news from Hell," chuckled Nicky. Adrian huffed.

"You think _you're_ out of the loop," he muttered angrily as his father winced.

"Well, Nicky, you see, Adrian's getting...uh...he's..."

"I'm getting _married off_!" snarled Adrian, and if he'd been hoping for sympathy, he was very much off the mark. Nicky and even Valarie seemed delighted by his suffering.

"I'm really glad for you, Adrian," claimed Nicky hoarsely, slapping him lightly on the back. Even Valarie, who had long harbored a deep resentment of him, tried to smile at him.

"That's really wonderful, I'd love to meet her, you guys might be able to come over for dinner sometime," she generously offered, disregarding Adrian's untouched plate.

"No! It's _not _wonderful! She's a bloody _angel_, for God's sake!" fumed Adrian, quieting when he saw the anger in Nicky's face. He really had gotten better at being frightening, what with his face being straighter and all.

"My mother is an angel, so you'd better watch your mouth around me, Adrian," growled Nicky, and Adrian had to resist rolling his eyes. No matter how scary Nicky could look, he'd never been and never would be good at talking tough.

"Alright, alright, Jesus, no need to shit kittens, Nicky," muttered Adrian, holding up his hands. He leaned back in his chair and looked around, then down at his plate.

"Well, it was delicious Val, fantastic talking with you Nick, I think I'll hit the sack about now," announced Adrian, pushing back in his chair. He tousled Zachariah's hair rather roughly as he passed, and made his way up the stairs. Finding a plainly furnished room with a queen-sized bed and a futon, he quickly claimed the bed, sprawling his lanky figure across it.

Earth was a bitch. Adrian could already feel his newly-weighted body pulling him down, towards the earth's core, where he called home and gravity wasn't such an issue. His strength was and would always be superhuman, but the toll that gravity took on his body was substantial. Sighing yet again, as he had many times that night, he sank into the covers and fell deeply asleep.

Meanwhile, downstairs, Adrian was the dominant topic of discussion.

"I don't like him in our house, Nicky," said Valarie angrily, brushing a lock of blonde hair from her eyes. Nicky was caught between duties to the family and his tremendous love for his wife. Satan shrugged.

"We're only going to be here for the night, dear, I'm very sorry if we're too much of a burden to you," he started, but Valarie quickly reached out and caught his hand.

"No, you're not a burden, you'll never be," she assured him, "it's that good-for-nothing, pompous, selfish airbag sleeping upstairs," hissed Valarie, stroking Zachariah's hair protectively. Nicky winced.

"You know, he can probably hear you, Val," he said softly, casting a worried glance upward. Valarie scowled very scarily.

"Nicky, you know I don't like him! Why on earth would you ever allow him in your house? How could you so easily forget what he's done to you, to your father, to New York! How can you possibly forget how evil he is?" she whispered, her eyes tearing. Nicky looked away, thoughts running through his head faster than he could catch them. He finally pulled together a bit of what he felt.

"Gee, Val, I know he's done some horrible, unforgivable stuff. I know he's a pain in the ass, and I know he hurt me and my family more than anything else ever has...but he's still my brother. He might have tortured me, damaged me physically and mentally, and harassed me and my family every day of my life since I was born, but hell, isn't that what brothers do?"

Missing Valarie's incredulous look, he looked down at his hands.

"You're forgetting that I lived in Hell, Val. Adrian might be bad, but I grew up around bad. He might be evil, but I've got a little evil in me too ya know. Well, I think I'm more on my mom's side, but I have my own dark power. No matter how much I looked up to dad, I always looked up to Adrian a little, too. He was my older brother, more of my example than any other. I was nothing like him, of course, but I dreamed about it and considered it, though luckily I never acted on it. He's hated me for so long...but he's still my brother. Who else does he have?"

Valarie was silent. She turned to Zachariah and lifted him from his high-chair.

"_One night_. He can stay _one _night, Nicky."

* * *

Adrian sat in the kitchen, legs crossed and arms folded, waiting with his luggage, as Valarie bustled around the counters, frying eggs and toasting rolls in the oven. He watched lazily, ignoring the babbling two-year-old to his right.

"My name is Za-ack. Who are you?"

Adrian jumped when a small voice addressed him. Turning and staring with distaste at the small, dark-haired boy, he sneered.

"I'm...your Uncle Adrian," he managed, not able to believe that he was tolerating this. The little boy seemed satisfied with his answer, and continued playing with a small toy truck he held in his grubby hands.

"Children," muttered Adrian, "are the worst idea He's ever come up with." Zachariah did not seem to notice, but Valarie turned and shot Adrian a glare before returning to the smoking bacon.

"Could you please refrain from disturbing my son's mental health for at least another few years?" she called over her shoulder, turning a few knobs on the oven. Adrian chuckled low.

"Whatever you say, love," he taunted viciously. When Valarie didn't respond (besides pausing slightly), he grew bored and focused on memorizing the pattern of the ceiling tiles. _Crack, wedge, crack, crack, bumpy spot, more bumps..._

"You know, if you're bored you can help," Valarie said through clenched teeth. She was trying to handle the bacon, the eggs, and buttering the toast at the same time. Cooking for two more people was something she obviously wasn't used to. Adrian bared his teeth in a mockery of a smile.

"No thanks, I'm perfectly fine right where I am."

"Oh, Adrian, you're up!" exclaimed Nicky, interrupting a very tense moment. Adrian winced and did his best to ignore everyone in the kitchen while Nicky helped Valarie with the cooking and his father picked up Zachariah and walked him around the room.

He didn't touch breakfast, either. After leaning forward to stare into the orange juice with distaste, he cast a pleading look to Nicky.

"Got any beer?"

Nicky withered under the harsh stare of his wife, and shook his head faintly.

"Sorry, I don't drink," he muttered, and Adrian threw himself back into his chair with a loud groan.

"Fantastic. Just peachy. I hope Heaven isn't half as bad as this."

* * *

Well, he was in for a nasty awakening. Earth was effing _paradise _compared to Heaven.

Nicky's mother, Holly, stopped by to transport them to Heaven with her. It was a much easier trip than that to Hell, which required an ugly and sinful death. Still, the bright light hurt Adrian's eyes and the clean, cool air was choking to his blackened lungs. The air was cool, but to Adrian seemed icy, and he shivered violently as his father knocked upon the golden door of a white house exactly identical to all the others.

"He's here! Oh, Eden, Faith, Joy, they're here! Quick, Joy, tidy up that corner! Faith, you hair is so unkempt, tie it up or something! Eden, you look so pale, liven up! You're about to meet your fiance!" Hope burst, trapped between opening the door and whipping her three daughters into shape. She settled with waiting until everything was presentable.

Opening the door slowly (perhaps to increase the tension?), Hope stepped back to allow two men to enter the room.

The first to enter was shorter, but not short, with twin pointed horns and graying hair. He had a kind, if not devious, smile, and handsome glittering eyes. Pointed ears protruded from the sides of his head, and he held out a clawed hand in greeting. The young man behind him...

Eden blinked. And blinked again. And blushed. And tried not to stare.

But he was most certainly one of the most attractive young men she had encountered in a long, long time.

His piercing grey-blue eyes seemed to look straight through her. His nose was straight, his skin smooth and pale, and his face framed by wild yellow hair. He was very, very tall, definitely over six feet, with wide shoulders and a slender frame. He was dressed in black, from his long boots to his neatly gloved hands, and seemed to be shivering ever so slightly. Eden couldn't help herself; she threw a glance back to her two sisters.

Well, the awe and envy was satisfying, to say the least. They stared, open-mouthed and unashamedly, at the newcomer, eyes wide and shoulders low. Eden smiled a little (though feeling guilty for it), and took a few tentative steps forward. Her mother, who had been in deep conversation with the father, seemed to remember why they were here.

"Oh! Forgive me, I've nearly forgotten! This is my eldest daughter, Eden. Eden, meet Adrian," Hope added, her breath held. Eden glanced into his icy eyes and looked down immediately. Forcing her lovely hazel eyes up, she held out a soft, delicate hand, a peace offering of an angel. He paused for a split second, then took her hand, pulled her forward, and as his other hand flew up to cradle the back of her head, he kissed her quite passionately considering the shortness of their time spent together. Eden was too stunned to react, as was the rest of the family, apparently. Finally, his father gathered his wits.

"_Adrian."_

"_**Adrian."**_

_**"ADRIAN!" **_-_whack_-

He pulled back after his father hit him in the back of his head, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and looked rather pleased with himself. Eden couldn't even function, the terribleness of the situation was so gripping. Her mother stood, horrified, and her sisters seemed stuck between yelling and laughing hysterically.

Just when she thought the moment couldn't GET more tortuous, he opened his mouth and spoke.

"What? We're getting married in less than a month, I think I was entitled to that," he snapped, "besides, I've been trapped in a flask with fucking _Cassius _for three years, I'm ready to screw the next cadaver I'm alone in a room with."

Eden had never experienced a more awkward silence. Hope and Satan seemed to clear their throats at the same time.

"Why don't you unpack upstairs, Adrian, dear, and we'll prepare dinner?"

* * *

"He seems a bit...coarse," said Hope as calmly as she could. Satan winced as he began cutting up apples.

"Well, he's still a bit bitter after finding out he had to get married, and of course since I locked him in a flask for three years. I'm sure he'll settle down once he's realized that this is for the best. He's a smart boy, you know," he assured her, peeling the rich red skin from the apple. Hope nodded, and was quiet for a few minutes.

"But...about what he said...about the cadaver?" Hope started, unable to help the upset flush that spread across her fair cheeks. Satan gave a rather forced laugh.

"He's kidding, only kidding, I'm sure. Your daughter will be fine. Such a sense of humor..."

Meanwhile, back in her room, Eden and her sisters, Faith and Joy, were analyzing their new guest.

"He's terrifying! That was the most horrible, awful, painful moment I've ever experienced in my entire life! And in front of _mother_!" squealed Eden, tears springing to her gentle eyes. Her hands flew to her mouth, hovering about her cheeks as she quaked with fear. Faith and Joy might have been mischievous little sisters, but they could see when their sister honestly needed comfort.

"Eden, he's not _that _bad, and I'm sure he was just joking!" Faith said tenderly, taking her older sister's hands into her own. She was the youngest, with long, light brown hair and kind brown eyes in a round face. Joy, however, was unable to contain herself. She burst out laughing, much to her sisters' displeasure.

"Oh, he _is _funny! I hope he stays with us!" she gasped through her laughter, light blue eyes bright with merriment, her short dark hair flying about her clever, heart-shaped face. Faith growled softly.

"I didn't like him much. He's very crude," she said decidedly, reaching out to hug Eden. Joy grinned.

"I liked him. I don't think he was serious, anyways, but he looked like fun. I like him," said Joy, just as decidedly. Faith sneered.

"I think he looked awful; wicked, mean maybe. He's dangerous, and I don't think Eden should have to marry him." Joy shrugged and stood, turning and skipping from the room, her feathered white wings fluttering in the cool breeze. Faith and Eden started.

"Where are you going?" Eden asked, and Joy turned and smiled before vanishing from the door.

"I'm going to talk to him! I really don't think he's _evil_..."

* * *

Adrian felt an eerie peace as he unpacked, and decided to attribute it to the light-headedness which accompanied the terrible altitude. Shaking himself, he paused, hands hovering above the small-ish case of personal belongings. He never needed a change of clothes, since he could quickly and easily pass his devil power over them and change their style, their cleanliness, anything he desired. He could conjure various items of which might be of use, such as a hairbrush, a toothbrush, cloths, and other objects he considered trivial but worth keeping around.

His case was filled with things he couldn't conjure, such as booze (food substances were foreign to his hands, though he could multiply or transform what he had), an extremely powerful cursed dagger which had once been the tip of the spear used to test the blood of the Son of God, some magazines of questionable content, and an old, tattered Devil's Bible that spewed a nasty black mist upon contact with the air.

He had just been contemplating slamming the case shut and making a run for it when the door opened with a slight creak. Adrian turned to see a young, blushing angel with short, dark hair and mischievous blue eyes. She smiled and waved shyly.

"Hi A-adrian, I'm Joy, you know, Eden's sister," she stuttered, taking enough small steps forward to be able to shut the door behind her. It was a brave move, coming to his room alone, but her hesitant motions revealed her uneasiness. Her smile was light, but her face was worried. Adrian fought the rising tide of temptation rather unsuccessfully. The bitterness of his future was making his decisions more and more rash recently, not that he particularly cared, though he usually left others to take the blunt of the punishment for his cunning and wicked actions.

"Joy, a pleasure to meet you," he purred, walking confidently towards her. She looked alarmed and took a step beck, but did not flee from his presence. She was so human in her fear; his appetite flared, though he was conscious that she had no soul for him to devour. But, he had other appetites of which she could satisfy, as his body demanded.

He stared into her eyes and took her small, slender hand in his own, and lowered his mouth to it, his cold gaze never leaving hers. She seemed transfixed, almost hypnotized, trembling and fearful and yet unable to escape. Lips just above her quivering hand, he opened his mouth and licked, from her middle finger's knuckle to her wrist, where he placed a tender kiss. She felt faint, her knees nearly buckled. Joy's face paled and then flushed deeply, she was flexed, ready to run, and yet unable to move.

Laughing to himself, Adrian swept to her neck, alternatively biting and licking the silky skin. Finally, as if waking from a dream, the young angel wrenched herself away, cast him a horrified look, and fled from the room. Adrian laughed darkly, running his tongue along his rather sharp teeth.

Meanwhile, Joy rushed back to her sisters, seeking their comfort but feeling guilty and furtive all the same. Sensing her distress, Eden and Faith accepted her entry with open arms and concerned faces. They allowed her a moment of shivering before they pressed her for details.

"What on earth did he _do _to you?" Faith asked, the question which Eden both craved and detested; she wasn't sure she wanted to know what kind of man she was marrying. Joy opened her mouth, closed it, and half-shrugged.

"N-nothing...he was just..." she let the sentence trail off, and her sisters understood that there was no forcing an answer from her. Whatever had happened was too startling for words, and Eden felt that sinking sensation again as she looked upon her younger sister's anxious face.

* * *

Supper was tense. Fresh vegetables and bread were served, along with exquisitely dressed stuffed peppers. Adrian managed a few bites of pepper; his appetite was roaring, and the discomfort he was causing was delicious enough to liven up the boring meal. Hope struggled to find level ground with him, something safe of which they could discuss.

"So, Adrian, do you have any hobbies?" she managed, looking unsure as to whether she wanted to hear the answer. Adrian gave her a winning smile.

"Why, of course! Let's see, I like torture, wreaking havoc on earth (but only on weekends, you _must _know how awful a trip it is), and of course sparring with any stray guardians I run into," said Adrian, ignoring the looks from his father. Hope didn't seem to know what to say. However, her mother and hostess instincts soon took over, and she struggled to perpetuate the conversation.

"Have...have you considered where you and Eden are going to stay?" she asked, dearly hoping he would prefer Heaven. She would only be so lucky...

"Why, Hell, of course. The temperature here is terrible, and it's awfully quiet," grumbled Adrian, "It's hard for me to sleep without some screaming in the background." Eden then spoke, for the first time during dinner.

"I don't want to live in Hell," she protested strongly. "I like it here in Heaven, thank you, and I think it's a bit unfair that you want me to leave my home for..._Hell_." Her spirit, though, was matched by her fiance's.

"Well, I think it's unfair that I'm being blackmailed into marriage. I hate the idea of living in Heaven as much as you hate the idea of living in Hell."

"I'm not exactly enjoying this arrangement either, _Adrian_, but it's our duty to do what we can to bring two warring worlds to peace and-"

"Cut the shit, _Eden_, it's not our responsibility to fix up what the rulers before us screwed over. I, personally, could care less about the war. It's not my fault, and if it was up to me, I'd keep it running for another couple thousand years, see if we can wipe up the angel infestation entirely, and if not, I couldn't care less over the loss of some demons. Less competition."

"See, that's the problem with you! There's no loyalty, no honor, no compassion; you're all just a bunch of evil dogs only looking out for yourselves! If Heaven ever lost to Hell, I would throw myself from the tallest tower of Earth to avoid existing in a universe so corrupt!"

"If Hell ever fell to Heaven, I would keep fighting until your Lord himself would be forced to smite me, if he dares!"

"I can't believe I have to live with you!"

"_I_ can't believe_ I_ have to live with _you_!"

"_HERE'S AN IDEA; WHY DON'T YOU LIVE ON EARTH_?!" roared Satan, face red from anger. The two stopped and considered the offer. For the first time, Adrian laid an offer.

"How about he live on earth, and switch off visits for the holidays? Hell first, if we honeymoon in Heaven," said Adrian, who seemed to have forgotten that he had sworn himself away from her. Eden considered his suggestion. Unable to think of anything against it, she shrugged.

"That's okay with me, if it's okay with you."

She excused herself and rose from the table, leaving the room. Adrian sat for an extra moment before his father kicked him extraordinarily hard from under the table. Wincing, he stood and followed her, limping slightly.

He saw her outside, standing on the balcony, watching the sky. Though there was no night in Heaven, the sky darkened for effect, and beautiful bright stars lit the sky. If Adrian had ever been close to emotional, it would be now. However, all he felt was a dull sense of peace. He came out behind her, and stood next to her, staring into the navy blue horizon. As he watched, the galaxies of the universe unfolded from the blackness, undulating slowly in the distance.

They were silent for a moment. On an impulse, and mostly according to a sense of duty, he reached out and took her hand. He sensed mixed feelings of confusion and pleasure from her; she would be easy to handle, he was sure. Suddenly, she took her hand back and turned to face him, eyes worried and hesitant.

"I...I meant to ask...when we were alone, of course..." she murmured, her gaze flickering from the door and back. A deep blush spread across her face, and Adrian could guess the topic of her discomfort.

"What I mean is...I know you're probably...not...that you've ha-had..." her distress rendered her incapable of speech. She raised a hand to her mouth and was fighting hard to find the right words. Adrian waited, surprisingly patient, eyebrows raised. She gave a hopeless shrug.

"Well, I've never...had...I'm still a virgin," she whispered, and a pleading expression overtook her delicate features. "F-for our first...time...could you..."

She abruptly turned away from him, trembling slightly, her dark hair glossy under the moon. Adrian stepped to her, until his chest was pressed against her back, his gloved hands on her shoulders. He was not unlike a vulture, actually leaning forward and pressing his cheek to the side of her head. His hands moved down until they hooked around her waist, and Eden shyly put her own over his, leaning back into the comfort of his embrace.

"I can be very gentle, love," he murmured huskily into her ear, his warm breath sending a barrage of shivers down her spine. Her hands loosened on his, and his shot upwards like vipers, rudely cupping her breasts and pulling her hard against him. Her breath quickened with fear, her hands frantic against his, but his strength was astonishing; Eden didn't come near to breaking his grasp.

"I'll give you a sweet breaking, but I want it _kinky _for the rest of the honeymoon, darling; I didn't agree to marry you so I could be your _lapdog _for the rest of eternity." He held her for one second longer, then released her and turned to go back inside. He paused in the frame of the doorway and looked back at her. Her hair was disheveled, her face red with anger, and her eyes fierce; she held the balcony wall for support with one hand, and smoothed her flowing white dress with the other.

"Don't worry. It'll be just delicious, I'm sure."

Eden waited until the end of his cloak disappeared around the corner before sinking slowly into one of the several chairs that were placed on the balcony. Her hands trembled, and she felt sickened by her helplessness. Hurting him was against the rules and her personal code, the thought of living with him was a nightmare, but for the greater good. She would have to brave her decision (yes, she had agreed to this of her own will), and take the fall for the rest of the angels.

But...he didn't seem unreasonable. As cruel as he was, as terrifying and evil as he was, he considered his father's offer and had respected her request, to some extent. Eden hoped dearly that he wasn't all evil, that he had some sense of virtue in him, as deep down as it may hide. She hoped that she could draw it out, and find a different side of him.

Because, if for some reason his intentions were purely works of a genius, evil master plan...

She would be screwed beyond anything fathomable.

* * *

"Adrian, dear, I hope you're getting along?" pressed Hope anxiously, her brow furrowed. Adrian smiled charmingly, and though Hope relaxed, Satan recoiled in his seat. He could recognize his son's deviant smile from miles away, and he couldn't help but be frightened.

"Perfectly. Now, if you'll excuse me, _mother-in-law_, I really am very tired; the altitude makes me quite faint, I'm afraid. I will have to lie down for a while, if I am to be of any use tomorrow." With this, he bowed politely and left the room. Hope looked very pleased, to Satan's despair.

"Well!"

Satan was not sure of what to say. Adrian was certainly the cleverest of his three sons, but was also the craftiest. When Adrian vomited up flattery and charm, he was typically up to something. Satan quickly excused himself and followed his son up the stairs.

When he opened the door, he could see Adrian seated in a white chair in the corner of the room, leaning forward with his hands on his knees and his fingers steepled. Satan took a few cautious steps forward, not liking the glitter in his son's grey eyes.

"I don't know what you're up to, Adrian, but you had better not be scheming anything. There's no way you're getting out of this, and there's no way you're getting the throne, so you had better accept your new life and move on. Maybe, _maybe _if you've learned a little more about balance and respect, you might reach the throne one day, but that's going to be a _long _time from now."

To his unpleasant surprise, Adrian laughed darkly.

"The throne? Oh, please, father, we both know you don't have any choice but to give it to me. You're not going to live forever, as far as I know you haven't popped out any new children, and Cassius and Nicky are unfit to rule Hell. The question isn't whether or not I'm getting the throne, it's _when _I'm getting the throne. I could wait till you give it to me...or I could demolish you sometime in the near future and take what is rightfully mine. As of right now, I am focusing on my new fiance and my future torture on Earth. You can sleep easy, old man, I've got more on my mind than your well-being."

Satan was surprised with Adrian's honesty, but didn't let his guard down; he decided to spend that night sleepless, perhaps admiring the multitude of brilliant galaxies adorning the sky above the balcony. Casting a suspicious glance behind him to his eldest son, he left the room.

Adrian almost smiled. It was too easy.

First, he had to cooperate with his father's plan and marry this horror. He could enjoy the privileges of married life for a few weeks, specifically during their honeymoon, and perhaps let her settle into a suburban setting, making friends and tending a home while he could quietly corrupt their neighbors and random passerby of course. Getting a job would be simple; with his talent in mind-control and the horribly twisted cogs cranking the business world, he should fit right in. He might be more of a success than imaginable.

When all had quieted and suspicions had faded, he would move into action. The first to go was Cassius; during their first visit to Hell he would have to steal the flask (no easy task, as it was most heavily guarded) and replace it with a fake. He would keep the flask in a safe place, biding his time until the opportunity arose.

He would then find Nicky, and trap him in the flask. His wife's life may be spared, but Zachariah could be trouble in the future. Adrian doubted that the young child could return from Hell back to earth, so once killed he wouldn't be of any worry. Valarie could stay alive, if she wished; she was too powerless to stop him without the help of Nicky (not that Nicky had a chance to start with, Adrian wouldn't be caught like that again).

With Nicky and Cassius in the flask, he would destroy it, which should (according to the Devil's Bible) destroy the souls inside (or lack thereof). His greatest competition would be obliterated, and only Adrian would be left for the throne. With his two brothers dead, he would return to Hell and command those faithful to him to prove their worth and unseat the Prince of Darkness, at which point the demons, of which the majority Adrian safely claimed support, would overpower his father's armies and Adrian could ascend to the throne.

Adrian didn't dare write anything down, or even speak aloud, for fear his father might hear him. No one alive could know of this wicked plans, least of all his fiance. Adrian winced. She would probably be very difficult to worm around, but it wouldn't be impossible. As an angel, she was naturally trusting, and as the Son of the Devil, he was naturally stealthy. The plan was completely flawless.


End file.
